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by Jeffitup

3 substances in your shampoo that do more damage than good

May 21, 2013 in Cosmetics, Uncategorized

Do you like washing your hair? Yes, that’s a serious question. What exactly do you love about cleaning your hair? Is it the way your shampoo suds up, the way it smells or the way your head feels when you step out of the shower?

“Aahhhh, so fresh and so clean!”

Believe it or not, all of those things you’ve probably become accustomed to loving about your shampoo are caused by chemicals and substances that do more to hurt you than they do to clean you. Read on to discover the underlying dangers of three different chemicals that are waiting in your shampoo bottle to ambush your head.

Super Sodium Bro’s

“Skin irritation, here we GOOOO!”

Sodium Lauryl Sulphate is our first concern and also the most commonly known threat (though few people know why it is dangerous at all). This first chemical is basically a detergent and it has a brother known as Sodium Laureth Sulphate (which is supposed to be less dangerous but isn’t very). Shampoos often come carrying one or the other but many other products contain this stuff. Anything from toothpaste to dish soap can contain either of the “super sodium bro’s” to help create that lathering foam we all love to get in our eyes in the shower.  

Chemically speaking, we call these substances surfactants and there are actually over 150 different names by which they are known. The main reason you should run from these in fear is the fact that they are often contaminated with dioxane (another lovely compound that is KNOWN to cause cancer).

Though one of the two IS smiling…

SLES (Sodium Laureth Sulfate) is considered to be slightly (ever so slightly) less irritating than its brother; however, it cannot be metabolized at all by your liver which leads to its effects lasting a hell of a lot longer. So don’t be fooled by the “safer than the other” sales pitch!

Shampoos in general are often reported to the FDA (they are some of the most commonly reported products in the world actually) for having caused severe eye or scalp irritation, tangled and split hairs as well as more serious effects like swelling of the hands face or arms (or for some very unlucky people, all of the above at once). All of these problems are caused primarily by the Super Sodium Bro’s.

Sounds like we’ve cracked the code on the moobs epidemic!

One of the most worrying things this garbage can do occurs once it has been absorbed into your system, at which point it becomes a mirror image of Estrogen. This has quite a large number of implications ranging from potential influence in the dropping male fertility rate and breast cancer.

The American College of Toxicology showed that concentrations of 0.5% of these chemicals can cause irritation in 1983. Many shampoos have concentrations of about 30% and in extreme cases, even more. These shampoos are capable of causing skin CORROSION and severe irritation. As far as we can tell, most of us aren’t looking for soaps to corrode our own skin.

With charming capabilities like these, everyone’s main question seems to be “why on God’s green Earth are they using this crap?!”

The answer is pretty much what you’d expect; it’s so danged cheap!

This is the exact same stuff that bob at your local mechanic’s shop is using to degrease your truck’s engine. Why shouldn’t we use it to degrease our hair and skin too?

See? Bob the mechanic is ALWAYS right.

 

Tetra-whatsit’s

This next chemical is much less commonly known but not much less dangerous than the super sodium bro’s.  It most commonly goes by the name of Tetrasodium Pyrophosphate and is definitely not the kind of thing you should be ok with dousing your head with (unless you also enjoy lathering up with lighter fluid).

Look what comes of that…

As far as scientific opinions go, a study conducted on rats and rabbits shows it to be “primarily an irritant in experimental animals. It causes severe irritation and corneal injury in the rabbit eye and is probably irritating to the skin because of the alkaline nature of the chemical”

The train doesn’t stop with the fairly cruel animal experimentation though (poor wittle rabbitz); humans were also subjected to this kind of testing which brought about the following consensus: “Exposure to tetrasodium pyrophosphate causes irritation in humans. It is an alkaline chemical and acute exposures have resulted in mild to moderate irritation of the eyes, skin, nose, throat, and respiratory passages”

With poetic descriptions like that, Tetra-what-the-flip-ever is hard not to love.

“And the beauty with which you corrode my skin
Sends me straight to the chem burn wing of the clinic… beautiful!”

Propylene Glycol and his hidden power

Propylene Glycol is our last perpetrator. He hides behind a mask and pretends to accomplish nothing more than a single highly useful task, but don’t go taking this guy lightly. His main use is to help keep the mixture he’s in from melting in heat or freezing in cold. Unfortunately, he has a hidden agenda as well that is far less useful to our bodies.

This man shows up at ALL chemical parties…

His hidden side-effect is the way in which he changes the typical structure of your skin. When this happens, chemicals can penetrate your skin much further than usual and thereby reach your bloodstream. This essentially means that EVERYTHING else in your shampoo can immediately make its merry little way into your body’s blood stream when this chemical kicks in and unless you’re planning on hosting an internal chemical party every time you lather up your hair, that’s definitely NOT a good thing.

Our Hypothesis

Altogether, these dangerous chemicals are enough to make most commercial bottles of shampoo you use a very bad idea. Opting for other more “natural” choices in shampoo could be a good tactic to adopt. Nothing good can come from prolonged use of chemicals that are known to cause cancer and are used to degrease engines on ANY part of your body. If you really aren’t concerned with the inherent danger of these substances then you might as well clean yourself in gasoline.

“Well, if you’ll excuse me, it’s bath time for yours truly…”

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by Jeffitup

Weak and chubby

May 12, 2013 in Conspiracies and Theories, Uncategorized

A recent government study has estimated that almost eighty percent of the adults living in the U.S.A. just aren’t meeting the recommended figures for exercise per week. Self-proclaimed (or simply proclaimed) “lard-ies” abound in the States and things aren’t looking good for their poor, weak and chubby little bodies (of course, those never look too good anyhow). If the adults of the country continue down the path they’re on, their later years will be nothing but repeated medical kicks in the crotch.

“and a one and a two…”

Data don’t lie

The beaker-bouncers of the CDC (centers for disease control and prevention) totally analyzed a large amount of raw data which they had gathered from over 450,000 U.S. adults across every single state (yep, even Alaska!). Subjects were basically asked how much time they spend on their backsides each day and the results were (as previously mentioned) breathtakingly cruddy. So many people in the country aren’t living up to basic, minimum expectations of the U.S. government when it comes to staying active that it has reached a staggering 80% level. Let’s not forget that these are ADULT HUMANS; not baby sloths.

Cause baby sloths are just WAY too adorable

Oh, and if you’re thinking the recommended level of weekly exercise is too high, think again. The amount of time experts recommend people exercise weekly as a minimum is merely 2.5 hours at moderate intensity. If you really amp things up and hit the gym like a flippin’ spider monkey, then you can get away clean (disregarding sweat and general stinkiness) with a 1.5 hour time total per week. Yep, an excruciating hour and a half of working out is WAY too much to impose on us average Joes ain’t it? Well, of course, you don’t have to do a damn thing if you don’t want to…

“I certainly wasn’t going to…”

Get Chronic instead!

“Take that government!!”

By “stickin’ it to the man” (in the wrongest of ways) and steering way clear from any sort of physical activity that would count as a legitimate workout, you can contract charming illnesses like Type 2 diabetes (a worldwide favorite) and the oft-sought-after state of obesity.

Here’s a sweet little tidbit of info for ya: “physical inactivity is linked to over 5 million different deaths each year around the world.”

Just in case you had no idea, that’s more death than smoking and polar bear attacks have ever caused in a year.

“Seriously, I ain’t gettin’ up”

 

The biggest losers are in…

West Virginia apparently! This single state somehow has the fattest residents in the entire country with about 33 percent of its population in a state of obesity.

Their slogan: “Welcome one and all to West Virginia; the place where two chins are just the beginning!”

See? The beginning…

My Hypothesis

Either we all take a measly hour or two to freaking MOVE AROUND a bit or we’ll all end up floating around on flying chairs that we won’t even be able to get out of (no, I did not just finish watching “Wall-E”).

Fine, maybe I did…

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by Jeffitup

Don’t Forget to Lick Your Lips

May 10, 2013 in Cosmetics, Uncategorized

Every woman wants to have perfect, supple, sensual, ruby-red lips but pretty much no woman wants a massive tumor to sprout from her mouth and hang from her face like a dangling potato (at least, I certainly hope not). So why, then, are women around the world upping their own odds for that second option daily? The answer is in the lipstick they’re wearing (and most likely in their complete ignorance as to what the stuff is doing to their bodies OTHER than attracting men). Are your lips worth dying for?

See? look what lipstick did to christina aguilera…

A sticky situation

Like this right here…

Unknown to most women, lipstick is little more than a smearable oily crayon jam-packed with chemicals so vile and toxic that your toes would spontaneously curl if you took a bite out of some. Believe it or not (see if we care), lipstick contains fairly dangerous amounts of cancer-causing metals formulated especially for use around your mouth.  Lead, cadmium, chromium, aluminum and five other metals are greatly looking forward to jumping from your lipstick directly onto your mouth (and probably beyond). Maybe you’re ok giving a bunch of dangerous metals a one way trip to first-base, but you certainly shouldn’t be.

A recent study of 32 popular lipstick brands funded by the National Institutes of Health and the National Institute for Occupational Safety brought this information to light for the entire world to see.

There’s just so much in there…

“What? It’s all organized you know.”

Scientists do not believe that the mere presence of these metals in lipstick is a problem; it’s the utterly ridonkilous amount of the stuff that’s a bit disturbing. Consider the fact that average lipstick users smear up their lips with the stuff about two times each day (heavier lipstick users take this to the limit by bumping it up to 14 times daily). Now of course we only like to think of lipstick in the form of kiss marks most of the time, but actually about 24 milligrams of sheer lipstickiness are ingested or absorbed into the body by these “average” users each day (about 83 milligrams for the crazy lipstick aficionadas).

“What did you just say!?!”

This kind of daily intake can potentially lead to far too much exposure to chromium which will give you way more cancer than you’d ever really know what to do with. But that’s just for average users. For heavy lipstick-using freak shows, a buildup of aluminum, cadmium and manganese is a very real problem. Cadmium on its own accumulates in all humans’ kidneys over time and seems to serve no useful purpose in the human body. If your kidneys accumulate too much of the stuff, your risk of developing kidney stones can jump up like a politician accused of embezzling.

An added cause for concern is the fact that the European Union views cadmium, chromium and lead as unacceptable ingredients, at any level, in cosmetic products.

My Hypothesis

“HAHAHA… I’m soooo happy… HAHAHA… why did my wife leave me? HAHAHA… help me….”

Obviously, you should try to keep your lipstick use down to a minimum whenever possible. You don’t necessarily have to woo men 24/7 with your luscious lips, you know. Save it for special occasions or try keeping it down to a single daily application if you can.

OR buy enough of the stuff to coat your entire body and laugh at this article till you keel over.

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Battle of butter and margarine!

April 23, 2013 in food and food prep, Uncategorized

Ah, the sky lights up with crackling belts of lightning and the clouds swirl angrily overhead as a cataclysmic battle to the death begins. Who will win? Will it be butter; the original favorite of the pilgrims or will it be margarine; forged by new technologies and materials that really shouldn’t be capable of rendering buttery substances? We’ll finally find out…NOW!

With what shall our sacred toast be slathered?

Let the stage be set…

“Butter?! Yeah right! Way too much cholesterol.”

In any fair fight, a perfectly equilateral proving ground must be established. In this case, both butter and margarine have their own followers and advocates for separate reasons. Butter being the original has many fans, but people trying to lose weight or, say, avoid dying of a heart attack have abandoned it due to its high saturated fat and cholesterol content.

Margarine, on the other hand has its own fans as well, but loses points for its many “questionable ingredients.” Most health-minded consumers flock to it, whilst a few have sufficient doubts to keep them in butter’s corner. The first round’s bell is ringing!

Butter takes a beating

“What’d you just say I’ve got in my mouth?”

The mass exodus of many people from the land of butter lovers to the land of margarine munchers took place a few years back and left butter with a greatly diminished market. The facts don’t lie after all; butter DOES have a BUTTLOAD of cholesterol and saturated fat. If anything was ever going to give anyone a full set of clogged arteries, it’d have to be butter, right? Well, actually the answer is trickier than it seems. Though butter may be loaded with fat and cholesterol, it’s all natural animal fat and cholesterol without any real processing involved in making it what it is. Besides, people have been eating normal butter for YEARS without any terrible problems arising. What makes our modern society so different? Lactose intolerance?

Margarine gets sucker punched

Oof, right in the kisser

Margarine appeared as the holy land to which the butter-deserters could flee to; however it’s holiness might not all be as authentic as most consumers had hoped.

Margarine and shortening are made from vegetable oils, or rather, “hydrogenated polyunsaturated vegetable oils.” In the process for creating these special oils, trans-fatty acids are introduced into the mix and these babies actually help to ELEVATE your cholesterol directly. Something tells me margarine ain’t lookin’ so sweet now.

Even the “natural” margarine alternatives are fairly dangerous since they are also made with hydrogenated oils (as these are fundamental to the mixture).

Butter follows up with a roundhouse kick!

The truth was released in ’94 by none other than our semi-reliable friends (currently on a death-due-to-random-substance trend) over at Harvard. Margarine consumption is KNOWN to increase heart disease rate in women by up to 53% compared to consumption of the same amount of butter.

Those women might as well have done this to their hearts…

My Hypothesis

That’s right; butter is best! Unless it’s this kind of butter…

Well, the winner is…(drumroll please)… BUTTER!

Butter is the traditional favorite here and you better believe it will continue to stand the test of time. Margarine may be low on saturated fats (a whopping 3g less than butter) but it’s still a lot more dangerous for us to consume. Most science experiments don’t make great foods anyhow…

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Ride the phone radiation wave!

April 21, 2013 in Conspiracies and Theories, Uncategorized

Waves are constantly swarming around (and through) all of our bodies in this technologically advanced, modern world of ours and this is due in no small part to the rapidly increasing amount of wave-emitting cellphones and mobile devices that we come into contact with on a daily basis.

“Hmm, which one shall I use today? Ah, screw it; I’ll take ‘em all!”

Unfortunately, having all this technology could silently be contributing to various surging health issues and bringing all of our health levels down a notch (a really massive notch might I add).

Da Science…

“Damn phone!”

Various different studies have been done on the effects of cellphone waves on humans and living tissue. Although the general consensus has proven that thermal radiation effects are quite small (meaning your head PROBABLY won’t catch on fire while you’re talking to your mother in-law on the phone), the OTHER effects that cellphones have on us and our precious tissues are far more disturbing.

Scientists pretty much proved that information-carrying waves such as those modern phones emit cause molecular changes to occur in the human body’s cells (a feat that had only been done on cultured cells before but was then discovered in the human cells in 2008).

These scientists basically exposed 10 female volunteers to GSM phone radiation of 900MHz for an hour and then checked the states of around 580 different proteins in their skin cells for changes. Two proteins were altered; one increased by 89 percent while the other decreased by 32 percent.

Unfortunately, nobody knows for sure yet what these protein changes could bring about (riiiiggggghhhhhttttt.)

“Well, I THINK he’s dead, but I’m just not SURE yet…”

Da Theory

There is, in fact, a theory that explains just what these waves are most likely doing to our bodies though. Essentially, these particular types of data-carrying waves can stimulate your body’s cellular receptors and thus bring about anxiety, fatigue and cancer over time. However, most scientists who believe this to be the case also believe that there is a certain amount of “lag” time before the issues become apparent (anywhere between 5 and 20 years), so there’s a chance you could be on the path to your own demise without knowing it until it’s too late.  

Guy behind the wheel:”Well it’s too late to turn back now…”

Da Rats

Another study on the effects of cell-phone waves showed much more disturbing results. The only difference was that the study was done on rats.

scalartechcellphones04_02

Poor wittle rat brains…

It was published in the June 2003 issue of Environmental Health Perspectives and it demonstrated the effect of certain mobile phones’ emitted EMF’s on the little neurons of skittering rodents.

In the picture, you can see the before (above) and after (below) of a poor little ratty brain. Mind you, the two pictures have no more than two hours of GSM cell phone radiation between them.

Da Sickness(es)

Alzheimer’s

Parkinson’s

Autism

Fatigue

Headaches

Sleep disruptions

Altered memory function

The list goes on…

“Why, I can’t even count ‘em on my fingers!”

 

My Hypothesis

Or I suppose you COULD try this…

If you’re really serious about dodging this imminent threat, then your best bet would be to try limiting your exposure to GSM phones as much as possible and maybe not holding them as close to your head any more if you’re dying to make a long phone call. Hell, opt for speakerphone if you have to; passersby on the streets hearing of your recent late night exploits may be the price you have to pay to avoid developing a brain tumor.

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Microwaves are out to fry us all!

April 20, 2013 in food and food prep, Uncategorized

Microwaves have all the “wonders” needed to slowly poison us all to death.

Despite the fact that microwaves are often praised for their effectiveness, cleanliness and general “neutral” effect on the food they heat and the people who eat said foods, the facts clearly show otherwise.

There are actually two different ways in which microwave ovens can greatly harm the human body and otherwise negatively impact our lives. Let’s learn about each of ‘em, shall we?

“Just warmin’ up some death!”

Leaking through the cracks

All of the “action” that takes place in a microwave oven is generally contained to the device’s interior area. This is done to keep the dangerous waves from affecting more than the food we’re too lazy to heat up any other way.

Yep, you know you want one…

What most people don’t know about microwave ovens is the fact that they tend to operate with more than 2 billion Hertz. Yes, that’s certainly a lot of energy being thrown around in there (almost like an energy mosh pit taking place). Now, the next important figure you should know about is the amount of Hertz it takes to start negatively affecting the human body. Scientists say that anything above 10 Hertz is enough to have some sort of unwanted effect on us and considering the fact that 10 Hz is hardly a droplet in the virtual sea of energy crashing and ebbing within your microwave, this can be a bit disconcerting.

Especially if you cook your food like this…

Of course, manufacturers often say that this is nothing to worry about since there are absolutely no leaks through the device’s seal (oooohhhh, sssuuuuuuurrreeee). But what if the seal is worn after a lot of use? It wouldn’t take much for a measly 10 Hz to slip out unnoticed now would it?

 

Stress Test…

Microwaved foods are dangerous on their own once they’ve been heated to “perfection.” These foods tend to suffer alterations that allow them to raise your stress and cholesterol levels as well as put the smack down on your white blood cells and reduce their numbers drastically. Surely you don’t want your little blood cells getting smacked, do you?

This is what they’re going through…

 When you heat food up in a microwave, it’s really the friction amongst the water atoms that’s bringing the heat and as these atoms heat up they rip molecules to bits all around the material’s internal structure. Thus, the “food” (if you can still call it that) that you pull out of the microwave is technically not the same thing you put in it; it’s merely the sad little REMAINS of what you put in there.

 

What can happen to you?

Too much exposure to microwaves at, say, head level will potentially put you in a world of hurt. Your immune system can take a long trip off of a short pier, your eyes can develop massive cataracts, you could set your future children up for birth defects and maybe even give yourself cancer!

You’re basically handing death to yourself on a silver platter

 

My Hypothesis

“Muahahahahahaha…”

If you like, say, being ALIVE and all then you might want to limit your use of microwave ovens as much as possible. But then again, you just might find you enjoy developing debilitating illnesses and having kids with serious birth defects… That’s probably not the case though.

 

 

 

 

 

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ADHD; It’s for kids!

April 19, 2013 in bad medicine, Uncategorized

Cognitive enhancing drugs such as ADHD medications are currently being prescribed to children and teenagers (who happen to be perfectly healthy) all around to help them … um… do stuff.

 The American Academy of Neurology (or the AAN if you haven’t the time to remember long names) recently took a stab at the popular trend and calls it a “misguided” choice.

Not unlike this…

Obligation proclamation

“Here’s all the “help” you could ever need!”

According to the academy, any doctors who are caring for children and teens that prescribe these drugs to them are basically knuckleheads. They have a clear obligation to CARE for their patients and help to keep them healthy. Unfortunately, it appears as if people everywhere have spent a bit too much time watching movies like “limitless” and less time actually teaching their children to focus and learn without prescribed “assistance.”

“The practice of prescribing these drugs, called neuroenhancements, for healthy students is not justifiable.”

What very few people seem to understand is that ADHD drugs are for people with ACTUAL ISSUES. They are NOT meant to give your kids quick “risk-free” mental boosts so they can study and pass their exams.

“hmmm, I just can’t figure out 2+2 without my daily dosage of DRUGS!”

 

Alternatives…

“The physician should talk to the child about the request, as it may reflect other medical, social or psychological motivations such as anxiety, depression or insomnia. There are alternatives to neuroenhancements available, including maintaining good sleep, nutrition, study habits and exercise regimens.”

You hear that folks? We don’t HAVE to take drugs to learn or focus on things. We could always, say, get to bed at a reasonable time or eat right.

“Yeah OR we could just take those drugs…”

But then again, why waste time and effort on things like that when we can easily become super geniuses with a single pill.

 

MY Hypothesis

Drugs are drugs people. You can come up with all the reasons you’d like to justify taking them but they continue to be nothing more than drugs in the end and dishing ‘em out to your kids when they don’t need them is definitely not a good idea.

“Im tellin’ ya man; one snort and I’m smarter than EVERYBODY!”

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Breaking News on Autism

April 18, 2013 in Illnesses, Uncategorized

Some researchers have recently stated that autism may be passed on through “and not just to” future generations. Therefore, we will all have to live the rest of our lives in abstinence for fear of having autistic children apparently… OR their research could have more holes than a slice of Swiss cheese (from Switzerland).

“Did we mention it’s swiss?”

 

They’ve totally proved….nothing.

 Basically, their main conclusion goes like this (hold onto your hats!):

 “Older fathers are more likely to have grandchildren with autism than their younger counterparts.”

 Wow, really? Is there some sort of, say, percentage that you guys came up with for how likely that is?

 “Men who had a daughter when aged 50 or older were 1.79 times more likely to have a grandchild with autism, compared to men who fathered children when aged between 20-24.”

 What? Stop the presses ladies and gents! Did you just say 1.79 times more likely to have a grandchild with autism? Dear Lord, clearly life is no longer sustainable on our dear planet.

“Oh My Jesus!!”

 

Driving their point home…

 “We can’t put exact figures on this risk yet. But most children born to older fathers and grandfathers grow up fine.”

 

Bet you can’t put figures on this either can you?

Oh, you can’t put figures on it, eh? Of course you can’t. Why don’t you just FINISH your dumb study and tell us all about it THEN?

 “This study should not discourage older people from having children as though the risk is increased, it still remains small.”

 Oh thank goodness; we were all about to put our plans on hold because of this supposed 1.79 percent increase in risk of having an autistic child. That’s how serious this study seemed to us poor, wretched men of the world.

 Seriously, Dr Avi Reichenberg (the Co-author of this load of garbage) should know better than to released half-baked studies to the public for absolutely no good reason whatsoever. Now, their actual FINISHED study’s findings will probably be completely ignored and older men will try to have children completely unaware of the fact that they have a TWO percent chance of not giving a rat’s arse about this kind of useless work.

There it is folks; precisely what none of us care enough to give…

“The study is not definitive, as we know that many people who had children at a young age also have grandchildren with the condition. We therefore urge parents and those thinking of starting a family not to be concerned about the findings.”

Oh, well thank you kindly for that you bunch of useless sad-sacks. Why don’t you use your time for something worthwhile instead of crackpot studies regarding completely stupid crap like this. SHEESH!

My Hypothesis

 Although this may have been little more than a massive rant on a bunch of hardworking (if not somewhat misdirected) individuals, I think the main purpose of it should be made clear.

 Nobody needs any more of these insanely useless studies!

 Stop linking random things to death and proclaiming to all the world how your findings of 2 percent could change ANYTHING at all. We don’t want to know, guys. Go work on teleportation or something (yes, that’s how vague and general my views of science are).

“but seriously, I want to get beamed up NOW!”

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